I hope you are all keeping well
We are in the middle of deciding who we are inviting to our wedding? Do they get a plus one? Does it depend on how long said couple have been together? Do you invite family you no longer talk too? What are the cut off points?
Do you invite your best friend’s best friend – whom you enjoyed a great girls night out with 3 years ago because she is “a bit of craic after a few” and you occasionally chat to over Facebook?
We managed to whittle our guest list down from 200 people :O to 93 people. It can be hard to know where to draw the line, so with that in mind here are a few tips on how we decided our guest list.
- Have you met this person before?
I know a bit of an obvious one, but you will be surprised how many people you meet for the first time at your wedding whether it be distant relatives or business acquaintances of your parents. “Oh but so and so in accounts would love to see you walk down the aisle” Be Realistic
- When did you last see this person?
If you haven’t laid eyes on a person in 12-18 months — or at least had a nice, long phone conversation if they live far away then you probably shouldn’t invite them.
- Are you have a vested interest in said person’s day to day life?
You should only be surrounded by people who have a vested interest in your life and your relationship, and vice versa. This goes for who you are today and who you will be 10 years from now, not who you were 10 years ago.
- Have you attended their wedding?
If you were at their wedding years ago but have since lost contact, you may not need to invite them, there seems to be no need to reciprocate if you’re no longer close. Only invite them if you really want the person back in your life.
- Do you spend holidays or birthdays with this person?
Seeing someone for big life events means they should be included in your wedding. End of.
- Are you inviting the rest of their family?
If you have three cousins but you’re only close with two, you should keep the peace and invite all of them.
- Are you comfortable around this person?
Your wedding is a party, yes, but a very personal experience. That said, do you want your boss there to witness your open-bar-plus-dance-floor hijinks?
- Is this person a positive influence in your life?
Nobody wants a Negative Nancy at their wedding.
- If you moved away would you keep in touch? Would you call ahead if you were in town??
I think this is a pretty good litmus test for whether or not the friendship is deep enough to merit a wedding invite.
- Would you change the date of your wedding if this person couldn’t come?
If the answer is “yes,” then that speaks for itself. Then they are pretty important to you in that case.
Happy Table Planning!!!